"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Good Morning?

Wow, this morning has been anything but typical.  I didn’t sleep well last night.  Again.  I don’t know why I’m not sleeping well, except that maybe I’m just restless in anticipation of leaving Alex.  Regardless as to why, I didn’t sleep well.  That came to a head when the dogs woke me up at 6:15.  Wait, what?  The dogs?  The dogs have been staying outside until the flea and tick medication arrives.  So how could they be waking me up?  My best guess is that when Drew left early this morning, he didn’t completely shut the back door.  The dogs probably didn’t realize it any more than Drew did, until they scratched to get in and the door opened.  Foose and Mac let themselves in and came straight to the bedroom to wake me up.  Talk about confusing.  I let them back outside, where I found Toto staring at the open back door like he wasn’t sure exactly what to do.  Since I was up and hadn’t been resting well anyway, I decided to just start the coffee.  I had my coffee, checked my e mails and then decided that I could probably lay back down and sleep another hour before Alex woke up.  My mistake?  I went to the bathroom.  Alex’s mommy radar must have gone off because I hadn’t even finished washing my hands before I heard her whining through the baby monitor.  Dang.  7am. 

It was still rainy and dark outside and I sure did want to lay back down, but…  I got Alex up, let her wake up a little and then prepared her morning feeding and medications.  She sure is sounding raspy so I dug into the medicine cabinet and found some children’s cold medicine.  I don’t even know why I have it, since she isn’t supposed to have decongestants.  They supposedly make her dystonia (stiffness and writhing movements) worse, which we absolutely don’t want.  In my infinite wisdom, I decided to try the cold medicine anyway.  It has an antihistamine, Tylenol and a decongestant in it and I thought it might help her without making her more uncomfortable. 

Milk & medicine and I declared that this nasty rainy day would be ideal for an early nap.  That lasted about 30 minutes and ended with Alex in tears.  I don’t know if I did something to upset her or if she was just so frustrated with not being comfortable.  While I can’t say that the cold medicine is to blame, I’m guessing it didn’t help anything.  I won’t be trying that again.  It’s only 8:30am and we have had quite the cruddy morning.  I’ve traded any hope of a nap for snuggling under a quilt in the living room with my girl.  My dogs are mad about being on the back porch during a storm and I don’t blame them.  I hesitate to add something so silly to our grumpy morning, but I’m fairly sure that my couch smells like urine.  I try to keep Alex’s cushion covered with a towel (in case of a pull up leak), but accidents happen.  Maybe I need to pull out the shampooer and give these cushions a thorough wash.  That really doesn’t sound like much fun, but neither is the lingering smell of pee. 

I’ve made myself a list of everything that must be done before Drew and I leave on Sunday morning.  I think that has me a bit stressed.  I suppose I could have done a couple of these things earlier, but most of them are just normal things that can only be done at the last minute.   Add in my own head congestion (thank you, spring weather) and it’s obvious why I’m not resting well.  I have never been so far away from Alex before and my nerves aren’t handling it as well as I had hoped.  She will be okay.  I know that she will be in good hands and that I will only be gone for 5 days.  I know that our family can reach us anytime while we are in West Palm Beach.  I know all of these things. 

Drew and I were talking last night, and aside from Branson we’ve never been on a vacation without our children.  Branson is 2 hours away and we have never been gone more than 48 hours.  Alex was with John & Alison for an extended period last year when Drew & I were with Emma in KC, but that was different.  Even then, we were only 4 hours from Alex, should we have been needed.  Now, here I am, 3 days and a wake up away from getting on a plane and flying to the east coast.  I am excited and I know that it will only take me a little while to relax, but at this particular moment I am just feeling anxious over leaving Alex. 

Take a chill pill, Mandy.  All signs indicate that Alex will enjoy all the company that she will have.  She will have more attention than she could imagine.  She is relatively healthy right now and that is a blessing.  I know that Drew & I will have a fabulous time together and we will be all the happier to see Alex when we return.  Yes, yes.  Those are the facts.  Take a chill pill and relax.  Maybe I will post again later today when my panties aren’t in a wad.  (You better be giggling over that.) 

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