"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Wanted: Normal

I’m not gonna lie, this weekend was exhausting.  Drew was off for five days and I saw him for about one of them.  Fishing, birthday parties, family gatherings… there was a lot going on.  I’m not exactly happy to have Drew at work all day, but I am glad to know that he will be walking through the door this evening and we won’t have anywhere else to be. 

Before I go any further, let me wish my Drew and very happy belated birthday.  33 is bound to be awesome.  Surely.  Hey, it’s kind of cool that we are both 33 and next Monday we will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.  Of course, we both feel strange about the number 13.  I mean, it’s a notoriously dreaded number for some reason.  There are typically no 13th floors in tall buildings or 13th aisles in stores.  I say that we should just have the first anniversary of our 12th anniversary.  Drew says that is too complicated (which was sort of the point, dear) and that is much easier to just say our 12+1 anniversary.  That’s boring.  I know that it is wedding season.  That means that lots of people are getting married and lots of people are celebrating anniversaries. I don’t really like to conform to what everyone else is doing, but you should consider yourselves warned that I will very likely post a wedding photo next week. 

Could someone please explain why Alex was wide awake and ready to start the day at 7:14am?  I was really counting on 9 or 9:30.  She was a rock star all weekend, but she was really worn out.  No matter, she seems to be happy this morning.  She is taking great pleasure in giggling at my curly hair.  After my shower last night, I decided to just let my hair dry curly and see what happened.  I’ll tell you what happened.  Pat, from the SNL skits 20 something years ago. 

JuSw-Pat

See that great hair do?  Mine looks something like it.  Hopefully I don’t look like a gender-less being and you can still tell I’m a girl.  Not just a girl… a girl who was just too tired to blow dry and straighten her hair.  (For the record, I’m still tired enough that I’m probably not going to rewash and style today.  I’ll just deal with it and hope a headband helps.)  Here’s the thing about my curly hair… it can be tamed and I love it short.  Even so, I’m in the process of letting it grow so that I can embrace the curl instead of fight it.  Tip of the day: when straight, your hair will appear much longer than when curly.  Curly hair shrinks and poufs and you wind up feeling like Pat from SNL. 

Bless your hearts.  Yes, you.  You are reading this blog and you know that I go off on a tangent on a very regular basis.  Today’s tangent could take us anywhere. 

I spent Sunday with my side of the family, which means that I got to hang with Misty & Sasha.  I think that our ages span about an 8 year difference, but at some invisible point in a woman’s life it becomes not so much about your age as where you are in life.  The same can be said for me, Jessica & Big Alex, whom I got to hang out with on Monday.  I had my babies young and have been out of the ‘baby bubble’ for quite some time.  This is another invisible line that a mother crosses where she finds herself without babies.  For me, finally being outside of the baby bubble meant that I found a peace about having no more babies.  You know what I mean?  When you have babies, it seems like having more might just be a good idea.  It isn’t until you are completely out of the bubble and can look back on your life with infants and see how difficult it really was.  Completely worth it, of course, but really not easy.  The hardest job ever.  No doubt. 

As I talked with my sister-in-laws about babies and more babies, I noticed a few things.  Our own experiences are the primary reference for our baby/parenting knowledge.  I had two babies.  Misty had two babies.  Sasha is 6 months pregnant with number two (and she swears it’s the last).  On Drew’s side, Jessica has a two year old and hopes to have a second baby at some point.  Big Alex is approaching the time when she & Pat will start a family of their own.  (NO, she is not pregnant… yet.)  Each one of us is so different, despite so many things in common.  I had both of my babies naturally… no drugs.  When Misty found out she was pregnant with Braeden, I’m fairly sure she would have been happy to have an epidural for the full 9 months!  Every woman is on either end of this spectrum or somewhere in between.  I wonder why we beat each other up?  Or worse, why we beat ourselves up for not doing things like someone else?  I was an all natural, no drugs, strictly breastfeeding kind of mom and I’ve always been a stay at home mom.  I love/loved it and it is/was right for me.  If I had 10 more babies (which I will not), then I would hope to make the same choices each time.  Here’s the thing… if one of the women in my life wanted such an experience, then I would happily stand beside them with my full support.  If they don’t, then that is okay.  In this lovely circle of my sister-in-laws the dynamic is healthy and supportive, but allow me to speak of women in general.  We are mean.  We hold grudges and pass judgment on others who make different choices.  This must stop.  Each woman is different.  Pregnancy is different for each woman.  Heck, one woman may have three pregnancies and three completely different experiences.  We should really cut each other some slack.  Of course, all of that being said, my way is obviously the best!   (Seriously, you better be laughing and know that that was a joke.) 

Okay, I have plenty more thoughts rolling around in my head, but I’m tired.  Wow, I’m worn out and it might take me a few days to recover from such a long and busy weekend.  Just admitting that makes me feel old. 

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