"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Just Mandy

Hey, remember when Alex used to have some sort of fixed schedule and her falling asleep and waking up could be used to mark time?  That internal clock seems to have a glitch, because I can’t predict her schedule lately.  In just the last week she has been waking up between 7am & 8:45 am.  I can handle whatever, but I do appreciate some predictability.  My only prediction right now is that she will wake up when she wakes up. 

Perhaps I should apologize for getting snippy with her this morning.  She woke up just after 7am, which means that I had no time to wake up before going to her room.  Still half asleep… I changed her clothes and carried her to the living room.  No sooner than I laid her down, she flung a leg and hit me in the face, sending my glasses flying to the floor.  I know she can’t help it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still get frustrated sometimes.  Nothing like a literal kick in the face to start my day. 

Right now she is flip flopping around in the floor like a fish.  I’m not sure where she is trying to go or what she is trying to do, but she sure is working hard at it.  Yesterday she spent a good part of the day on her computer, typing out “ALEX MOMMY DADDY” over and over.  She’s smart, y’all.  So smart. 

Want to hear about our walk yesterday?  It was only in the 70’s here yesterday so I loaded Alex in the stroller to go for a walk.  I decided that we would walk on down the road instead of just making circles around the block.  We were just BARELY out of the neighborhood and I scooted over into a driveway for a car to pass.  When I pushed the stroller back onto the edge of the road (it’s a small road outside our neighborhood) I came within inches of pushing Alex over a snake!  I swerved and missed it and then, for a fraction of a second, thought that the snake was dead.  It was folded sort of in half and didn’t move when I accidentally got so close to it.  Fast forward to half a second later… the snake turned its head and looked right at me.  As it turns out, real snakes make me move as fast as hypothetical zombies do.  I turned that stroller around quick, fast and in a hurry.  We stuck with just walking around the block because walking the road means hugging the edge of the road by the wet & overgrown ditch.  This momma wasn’t taking any chances.  FYI, on our next trip around the block the snake was gone.  I felt quite sure that it was hiding just out of sight and planning an attack!  Snakes… one more reason to exercise at the gym. 

Since the weather was cool and rainy yesterday, we rescheduled Alex’s Monday therapy for later in the week.  Hopefully it will warm back up and we can get her back in the water for therapy.  Without that little break, it felt like a long day.  I did spend a good deal of time making phone calls and getting some ducks in a row for Grandpa’s needed dental work, so that gave me something to do.  Today Heidi comes for speech with Alex and I will go to the gym for a bit.  I need to get out, I feel like I’m going stir crazy here.  Clarification… I don’t just need to get out, I need to just be Mandy for just a little while.  That sounds awful, right?  I don’t like thinking, feeling or saying that out loud, because I know that the day will come that I would give anything to have these moments back.  I wouldn’t risk saying it here if I wasn’t absolutely certain that every momma, especially a stay-at-home mom, feels this way at some point.  I have to adjust my thinking sometimes and remind myself that taking a little time away from my child makes me a better momma the rest of the time.  Yep, I need a date with my hubby.  Soon. 

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