"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Monday, June 10, 2013

Monday Morning

Drew is on a plane to Toronto and Alex and I are starting our week sans Daddy. 

We had a nice quiet weekend at home together.  I already told you about the KC trip, but don’t think that I mentioned the family reunion that I missed.  The Browers (my mom’s side of the family) had a reunion in Oklahoma this weekend and I missed it.  I’ve seen a few photos on Facebook and it looks like Kristin’s wedding was lovely and that everyone had a nice time together.  It would have been nice to see everyone, but after the full day of travel on Friday, we just couldn’t handle another trip.  Alex has been doing great, but she is tired.  How can I tell this, since she spends most of her time laying in the floor anyway?  Well, one thing is that she hasn’t taken all of her feedings in the last two days.  That is always a sign to me that her body is worn out, stressed and trying to recover.  

Drew and I have been talking about going back to church on Sunday mornings, which is something we haven’t done in a long time.  It’s actually been about a year since our last Sunday morning service and we are missing it.  We talked to each other for a good while (over the last few weeks) about whether we thought Alex could handle it.  We both agreed that her physical ability is probably fine and that since it is June we don’t have as much risk of picking up a simple illness in the crowd.  The issue?  Alex’s feelings.  Finally, we decided to quit talking about her and talk to her.  Saturday evening…

Me: Alex, Daddy and I were thinking that maybe we would all go to church together in the morning. 

Alex: No.

Me: But we could see all our friends, sing songs…

Alex: (cutting me off) No. 

Me: (debating how to ask this so that she can answer with her computer) Is is because you don’t want go? 

Alex: No. 

Me (dreaded question): Is it because being in church makes you miss Sissy? 

Alex: (starts crying and says nothing)

Her emotional response was sincere and so we dropped the subject.  You see, from October through March we do not go to church because of cold/flu season.  It’s on doctor’s recommendations and we have seen (beginning in 2011 with both girls) how being in a crowd (especially a crowd that loves her with hugs & hand shakes) passes germs that she can’t fight.  The last full service that Alex sat through was Emma’s funeral.  We did go to a Sunday morning service just about 12 months ago, but we had to leave when Alex got very upset.  She entered a pretty awful PKAN decline shortly after that Sunday and we didn’t go back all summer.  Then came fall, bringing with it the threat of cold/flu.  Jan/Feb/Mar brought another decline and now, here we are, in early June. 

I think that Drew & I will keep talking to her about it and maybe we can attend some sort of church function that doesn’t involve sitting in the sanctuary.  That might help Alex ease back into things.  The reason we aren’t pushing her is because we know how she feels.  We all miss Emma in our own ways & places and for Alex one of those places is church.  Drew & I agree that we will respect Alex’s emotional boundaries while still encouraging her.  We can do lots of things at home, and we do.  We read, pray, talk and even sing (thank you, guitar).  We feel like all of those things are important to our spiritual health, but they aren’t fellowship with our church family.  I’m praying that we can add that back to our lives, at least in some fashion. 

Alex and I took a morning walk before the temps get too high today.  Actually, I’m not going to lie, I love the warmer temps.  Could we do 80-90 degrees all year long?  Warm enough to swim and enjoy the sun without being miserably hot?  I think the only option here is to move to Hawaii!  Don’t lie, you are secretly hoping that I move to Hawaii so that you have a free place to stay on vacation.  Back to our walk, we got in just over a mile before we had to stop to wrangle the dogs.  How do they know when Drew is gone?  I swear, it must be something like Alex’s Mommy Positioning System… it’s a Daddy Positioning System that tells the dogs when he is sufficiently out of the area and gives them the all clear to dig under the fence.  They have a long history of doing this.  Drew is out of town, dogs dig out of the yard, Mandy has to patch things up.  We’ve had so much rain this spring that the ground is soft enough for Foose (the big dog) to do the digging and the little dogs to squeeze out.  Of course, then Foose stands at the fence and does a repeated crying bark to alert me to the escape.  Surely he knows that I know he helped Mac & Toto, but he doesn’t let on.  He just looks at me like he’s saying, “Oh Mom, what are we going to do about these deviant little critters?  They are such trouble and I’m such an angel. ” 

No matter, we cut our walk short and I fixed the fence the best I could.  It looks pretty ghetto (no offense), but here’s hoping it holds and that they don’t find another spot to dig. 

Alex is hounding me to go swimming.  We decided not to get in the pool this weekend, thinking it was too chilly for Alex.  I just checked the water temp and it is 76.  Is that too cold?  I know it wasn’t too cold for me, Kyle & Casey when we were kids, but I’m not sure if it’s too cold for Alex.  The weather is supposed to hit 90 every day this week, so we are going to try on Thursday.  Water therapy is awesome and we just happen to have the awesome Cheryl who does therapy at our house twice a week.  Even better?  Alex’s sessions are the last of Cheryl’s day, so she doesn’t have to go back to work when she leaves us. 

Want to know something else cool about Cheryl?  She gardens.  even better?  She has more lettuce than she and her family can eat.  That means that I have fresh lettuce in my fridge.  Saturday evening we had fajita wraps with that yummy stuff. 

Speaking of fresh produce… I’ve had pretty much the worst diet ever in the last week.  If it is loaded with carbs, sugar or salt and comes in a box, then I’ve probably eaten it.  What’s the deal?  I don’t know, but it makes my body feel awful.  It’s definitely time to go back to healthier habits.  I think I will do a few days of food journaling, just to hold myself accountable and get back into some better habits. 

I mentioned Kyle & Casey earlier, which reminded me of this photo I found last week.  This was the day I graduated from high school in ‘98, so that would have made me 18, Kyle 14 and Casey 12. 

old pics 024

My, how 15 years changes things!  Casey was shorter than me and Kyle was just barely taller than me.  They grew quick, fast and in a hurry in the next couple of years and now they are both 6ft+ and tower over me! 

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