"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Friday, July 5, 2013

Apology

I feel like I need to apologize to anyone that I’ve come into contact with over the last week because I haven’t been in the best of moods.  I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed for what feels like no good reason.  So, before I go any further, if I’ve been less than friendly, I apologize. 

I think the hardest thing is that I haven’t had any real anxiety, not to mention an anxiety attack, in months.  I’m out of practice!  It makes relative sense, for a person who is inclined, to have some level anxiety over stressful situations.  The part that doesn’t make sense is that stress isn’t always bad.  Frustration doesn’t begin to cover how I feel when situations that should be fun are instead overwhelming to me.  I’ve done this since I was a child and I think the only thing that is different now is that I’m aware of it. 

I’ve only exercised once this week and that is obviously my own fault.  I am perfectly aware of how exercise helps me to keep my head on straight, so why in the world would I neglect it when I need it most?  Add in the fact that I’ve eaten every piece of junk food within reach...  ballpark food, rodeo food, movie popcorn… it sounds like such a good idea at the time and then makes me feel rotten for days afterward. 

In short, I just haven’t felt or acted like myself this week.

The biggest apology for my crazy attitude this week should be given to Drew.  I have apologized to him and tried to help him understand that I really have appreciated him being off work all week.  We’ve done some fun things and the only thing that was off was me. 

Sweet Alex has a bit of my personality when it comes to loving routine.  Yesterday she asked me about Ms Heidi.  I told her again that Heidi was on vacation and would be back next week, but then she turned back to her computer and said, “Ms Heidi, you forgot.”  Sweet girl.  She’s probably wondering what the heck is going on!  Daddy is home (a definite plus), but her last therapy was on Monday with Cheryl.  I assured her that Ms Heidi has not forgotten about her and that she will be back soon. 

Now that I’m putting all of this into words, I’m realizing just how absurd it all is.  Just a week or two ago I actually used the word ‘bored’.  Imagine how confused Drew must feel when I complain about being bored and then act all crazy when there is too much to do!  He probably deserves a medal for being so patient with me. 

Let’s wrap this post up with a photo of how Drew rearranged furniture this week…

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He took apart the sectional, rearranged two of the pieces and moved the chaise lounge to our bedroom.  I have to agree that it opens up the living room, gives Alex more space in the floor and is a nice little change.  Putting the chaise into our bedroom is actually the sweetest part because his thinking was that it would be a space just for me to be alone when I need it.  He’s a good man and I think I’ll keep him around for a long, long time  :) 

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