"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Sunday, January 5, 2014

It’s Me Again

I really didn’t know if I would still want to blog after Alex was gone.  From the beginning it has been about our life as parents, as a family.  Well, guess what?  I’m still writing.  I don’t know how to not write.  It’s just in me.  Or maybe I should that it just flows out of me.  If I didn’t organize those thoughts into words then I might not survive. 

Drew and I are planning to turn everything up to this point into a book.  Not for the benefit of anyone but ourselves.  We will have it printed and bound soon (there are companies that do that for bloggers) and then I will start fresh.  This blog will continue, it will just begin a new chapter. 

So, here I am writing.  There’s nothing I can say about Alex that I haven’t already shared, so I’m going to ramble about other things in life. 

I never reported this, but I did complete my 200 miles for 2013 on December 26th.  It feels really good to have completed that goal that I set for myself.  It’s now 2014 and I’m setting a new fitness goal.  This year I am aiming for 150 hours of activity.  Thanks to my new Fitbit arm band, my activity is automatically tracked for me.  It tracks my steps and daily activity.  Most of my daily activities are light or moderate.  I’m aiming for Very Active minutes.  This is almost never triggered without intention.  For example, Drew and I went shopping the other day and I got 8 Very Active minutes (we were in a hurry).  Other than that, even cleaning house only registers as moderate activity.  That means I have to intentionally work up a sweat to register as Very Active.  Drew and I are both aiming for 30 minutes of Very Active per day (we got him a Fitbit, also).  If we got in a full 30 minutes each and every day of the year then we would hit 182.5 hours by December 31st.  I would imagine that there will be days where we do not get in any activity, while there will be other days that we will surpass our goal.  That’s how we came up with our 150 hour goal.  Here’s to an active and healthy 2014. 

The dogs got me up at 7 this morning and I just stayed up.  I’ve been doing laundry, drinking coffee, watching it snow and even decided to make a batch of bread.  It’s a bit strange to sleep when I want and wake when I want.  I’m so accustomed to considering the sleep patterns of my children and working around that to get what I need.  That is just one of many adjustments in my daily life that will take some getting used to. 

Drew & I really wanted to go to church this morning, feeling completely ready to get back to that part of our life that we were unable to participate in for the last couple of years.  The snow and impending frigid temperatures are keeping us at home.  The beautiful thing about that is that church will be there waiting for us when the weather clears next week. 

I’m so grateful to have Drew at home right now.  In the last few days he’s spent some time working on the computer and also on the phone with his co-workers who are helping pick up the slack of him being gone.  Having him here right now is making the transition into a life without Alex infinitely easier.  It will most definitely be difficult when he goes back to work in a week, but I will deal with that when it arrives.  I fully intend to go to church for quilting group on Tuesday mornings, to help care for my grandpa and to spend a lot of time with family and friends.  I don’t intend to look for a job.  That may come later, but right now it’s not on my radar.  Drew has always provided for our family and I am blessed that he not only has a job that can continue to do that, but that is happy to do it. 

That’s where we are for now.  I really can’t thank you all enough for your support and respect lately.  There is no way that I could possibly respond to each individual comment, text or email that I’ve received, but please know that I am reading them all and accept my sincerest gratitude to each of you. 


lots o stuff said...

I am so glad you are continuing to blog. I have followed your story and really admire how you raised you family. You were so selfless, and did not try to prolong life when it was time. You have a great deal of courage.

Anonymous said...

I agree please don't ever stop blogging, you are such an inspiration to me, I know dealing with things are so hard for me but when I read your blog you inspire me to take one min at a time...Cause I tend to think so far down the road and end up having to take a Xanex to bring be back to planet earth...I know that is bad..lol that is why I keep reading your blog...you make me slow down and not think to much... Hugs Prayers for y'all
Janice King Pastor

Tsuds said...

Your words are so much a part of you. May you find comfort in them.

My care and thoughts to you both.