"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Wednesday, July 2, 2014


Welcome to this episode of "Questioning Myself".  

Want to know why my yellow squash didn't look like they were supposed to?  Because they aren't yellow squash.  Yeah, that's a pretty good reason.  You see, I didn't know if they were supposed to be the right color yellow from the beginning or if they turned when they were ready, like tomatoes.  (My gardening friends can just shake their heads at me right now.)  Anyway, I finally decided something wasn't right and that they weren't the right shape.  I picked one and sent a picture and plea for help to Cheryl and Dottie.  They both comfirmed that these are not the squash I thought they were.  

I put it beside my Gatorade bottle for comparison.  So, what is it?  A mystery gourd?  Butternut squash?  Dottie suggested I get creative and start making gourd bird houses!  So, if you all get gourd birdhouses for Christmas then you know whose idea that was.  

Having accepted the fact that the plants that I bought back in the spring that had plant tags telling me they were yellow squash really weren't, I made a new plan.  I picked the 7 gourds that were there and made the decision to remove the plants from my garden.  You see, these things weren't growing like zucchini, they were vining ALL over the place.  They were just about choking out my zucchini and tomatoes, so I think it was the right decision.  If I am ever inclined to grow gourds in the future, I will know that they need a LOT of space.  

Even if I didn't know what I was growing, I sure did a good job at it!  Still, I'm questioning my gardening skills with this mystery crop and feeling pretty bummed that I don't have yellow squash. Dottie suggested that I may be able to still grow squash if I was diligent about watering, but I can't even find a squash plant.  Lowe's, Atwoods... nothing.  Oh well, maybe I will visit the Farmer's Market and try yellow squash again next year.  

Cheryl and I went walking this morning.  That woman can speed walk!  Seriously.  I would say it's because her husband is 6'2" and she has to be fast to keep up, but my husband is that tall and I still barely keep up.  Maybe she's just that awesome.  Yes, that is definitely it.  I have to work hard to keep pace with her, which is good for me.  I hope I don't slow her down too much.  We werent 3 minutes from her house when a jogger passed us.  He had just run up a hill and I had just started walking.  I was already huffing and puffing and sweating up a storm and he was making it look easy.  I can most surely tell that I haven't been walking & jogging like I did in 2013.  I've just fallen out of love with the gym.  When I spent all day in the house with Alex, I considered the gym a retreat.  Now that I have the freedom to work outside and get out and about, I feel less affection for the gym.  Gym or no gym, I need to be exercising more than I am.  Remember I stepped up my 2014 goal to get 10,000 steps a day?  Yeah, that's not going so well.  I was getting fairly close, averaging about 8,000 steps a day, until a few weeks ago.  Several things slowed me down... the weather got hotter and coming off of my antidepressant had my body feeling yucky for a while.  It's amazing how quickly I fell out of the habit of exercising.  The questioning here comes in the form of asking myself how to get back in the groove.  Any groove.  I think the answer is the same as it always has been... get up and do something!  I am healthy and able, so there is really no excuse.  Thanks to Cheryl's speed walking and 4 miles route, I had more than 9,000 steps in before 8am today.  That's a start!  Now that her work schedule is back to normal, we will likely go walking once or twice a week.  
Side Note:  We walk early and that week that I wasn't feeling well led to me sleeping late in the mornings.  Wow, how quickly I lost my 5am wake up routine!  Last night I asked Drew to please make sure I was up by 6am this morning (since I have a natural talent of sleeping through any alarm).  He woke me up and before I could even open my eyes I groaned, "I'm going to have to break up with Cheryl today, this just isn't working for me."  Drew didn't even laugh, he just told me to suck it up an get up.  That's why I love him.  I got myself up and have felt great all day.  

Other things to question... my mouth.  It's no surprise that I'm a talker, but sometimes even I shake my head at my jabbering.  Sorry y'all.  Not only do I talk non stop, but my censor doesn't always work.  I'm not likely to drop nasty words, but it is completely in the realm of possibility that I'm going to say something inappropriate.  I'm going to have to quote a song from Miranda Lambert's newest CD (which I love, by the way).  "My disposition permeates the room when I walk in a place, I'm sorry.  By calculation I'm way too much, pretentiously I bitch a bunch, but you bought it."  Yes, I identify with that. 

All that said, I'm not really questioning myself.  I just have some things to work on!  How boring would it be if I had perfected all these things anyway?!    Just for the record, I'm much more likely to get back into an exercise routine than I am to stop talking.  Just a warning.  

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