"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Monday, August 18, 2014


On Thursday evening I went to see Braeden play in his first football game.  Drew was still in Cleveland (he was super bummed about missing the first game), but I was so excited to go see my nephew play.  It doesn't hurt that he is absolutely the cutest almost 7 year old boy that I know.  I had to exercise extreme self control to not be the aunt that embarrassed him with too loud cheers and excitement.  I can't exactly say how successful I was at that, though.  On Friday evening Drew was back home and we went to see the second (and last game of Kiwanis football).  He did a great job and it was so much fun to watch him play and learn and experience.  Just to be clear, if I wasn't Crazy Aunt Mandy the I wouldn't have the photos to share with you.  A little crazy is a good thing :)

This is the first time Braeden has played football, but it is not his first time to play sports.  I am sad to say that this is just the first time that I've been to see him play anything.  I think that I can cut myself some slack through January of this year, given the circumstances and my ability to only do so much.  What I really hate is that Drew & I didn't go see either of the kids do their thing this spring.  Honestly?  I didn't even realize this until today when I said it out loud, but the last 7 months have been quite an adjustment.  Okay, I realized that, but I didn't fully realize that much of what happened in that period of time is a bit blurry.  How's this for a metaphor?  Do you know what it's like to ride an amusement park ride?  For most of us, our bodies adjust to not being on solid ground.  It's fun (mostly) and once you adjust to the circumstances then you may find a new equilibrium.  For the purpose of this story, let's say that that is a bit like parenthood.  Any version of parenthood requires adjustment (and many more readjustments along the way).  Drew and I experienced a version of parenthood that felt a bit like hoping from ride to ride to ride.  Does that make sense?  We would get the hang of one situation (ride) and then it would change and we would have to find our footing all over again.  It's like we had an arm band at the county fair and rode ride after ride for as long as we were allowed.  Maybe all parents feel this way.  I can't say for sure, since the only version of parenthood that I know was my own.  My point is that in January we stepped off the ride.  Rides.  All of them.  All the rides in the amusement park of parenthood were gone.  Now do you see where I'm going with this?  When you have been spinning and flipping and flopping and flying and holding on for 11 years, it takes a while to find a new equilibrium.  Any equilibrium.  Let's take it a step further... Let's say that you entered into that amusement park 11 years ago from one gate.  Now that gate doesn't exist and you have exited through a different gate, in a different area, and you don't really know where you are.  There is no reentry into the amusement park and you have to figure out where you are and what you are going to do next... all while stumbling around and off balance from the rides.  That is a bit what the last 7 months have felt like for me.  New and unfamiliar. A little unsteady.  Make no mistake, I'm not saying that I've found my balance now.  I know that I have not.  All I'm saying is that I'm super glad that I found the gate to the football field to see Braeden play last week and that I'm already looking forward to fall baseball season.   

No comments: