"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Friday, October 24, 2014

I declare

Drew and I are going to the vow renewal of some great friends this weekend.  To be honest, I only sort of know what that means.  Well, of course it means that they are going to say their vows again.  I know that much.  Until a couple of weeks ago I wasn't sure what else it meant and what was expected of me.  I know now that this particular event is pretty well a wedding, only they've been married for almost 20 years.  We were told that we could wear whatever, that no dress code was required.  I decided immediately that I was wearing a dress.  I'm still not sure exactly how formal everyone else will be, but I'm wearing a dress.  (Despite the fact that the weather tomorrow is expected to be 85 degrees and my dress requires tights.  I'm still wearing it.)  Now, for the question you can't ask the bride & groom (um, husband & wife).  Gift?  The invitation didn't specify no gift, but since they are already married, there is no registry.  I'm sure that if we asked then the answer would be "no gift".  But, that's what you are supposed to say and I don't feel right showing up empty handed.  This afternoon I went to this great little store in downtown Siloam Springs, Occasions.  I've been in there before, but only with friends and never when I had the money to shop.  The sales lady asked if I needed help and I didn't know the answer to that.  (Truth, I need all kinds of help, but I'm assuming she meant help with something in the store.)  So, I told her the situation, thinking she might know the etiquette for such (the web was not helpful in that quest for info).  She didn't (guess this isn't a common problem), but that didn't stop her from helping me in record time.  I quickly found a small gift that I'm happy to give and they even gift wrapped it for me.  There must be some sort of magic involved in professionally wrapping a gift.  I mean, they go behind this little petition and come back out in a few minutes with a artfully wrapped box.  It's magic.  I declare that I will be going back to this store.  Often.  They are a friendly & helpful small business and I would pretty much love to have one of everything in there.  Loved ones on my Christmas list... don't be surprised if your gift comes from this perfectly lovely little store.
Now, I will say more on vow renewals (and hopefully not offend anyone reading this).  I don't really get it.  Drew & I got married 14+ years ago and we had a fairly large wedding.  Large, but not formal.  It was lovely and I'm so happy with those memories.  I can see how someone who didn't have that would want it.  Since I did have it, I'm not interested in doing it again.  Wedding dress?  Nope.  Invitations, cake, napkins with our names on them?  Nope.  Just not interested.  If I ever felt the need to make my vow to Drew again, my personality would be most inclined to do it in private.  I mean, I love my friends and family, but I would rather spend the money on a second honeymoon than on a party with everyone I know.  Know what I mean?
That being said, this isn't my wedding.  I am happy that our friends are having the moment that they have always wanted.  Now that I'm thinking about it... way to go y'all!  You got married 20 years ago because you wanted to be married to each other, not because you wanted a big party (these days it seems that that isn't always true).  So yeah, if you want to have a party to celebrate then I'm all in.  I get to go, wear a pretty dress, hug our friends and then ride back home with my own hubby.  I can handle that.

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