"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Back to it

Drew went back to work yesterday.  He was off for two weeks because of our planned vacation and the holidays, so we got awfully used to being together every day.  I sure do like that guy and miss him when he's gone. 
Just to make sure his first day back in the office was eventful, I called to tell him that my truck was running rough.  I didn't want to, but it was sort of awful, I was at Grandpa's and I didn't know what to do.  He made a suggestion, I took Grandpa's truck down and bought an air filter.  I totally changed that air filter by myself (I'd like to think that makes me awesome, but it really was absurdly simple).  It didn't help at all, but I still felt cool for doing it.  I went ahead and drove it home, Drew brought home a code reader and it gave us a code to say that cylinder 6 was misfiring.  I'm so grateful that Drew has enough knowledge and ability to take care of it.  In a matter of minutes he had gone to Auto Zone, bought a new coil, replaced it and had things running smoothly again.  I think I'll keep him around :) 
Drew being back at work means I'm figuring out my routine now.  The last month was pretty rough and a lot has changed, so I've got to find the new routine that works the best for me.  I did get up with him yesterday morning, but went back to bed after he left for work at 6:45am.  I don't usually do that, but I sure did yesterday.  I didn't wake up until 11!  I think that my body is just now feeling the effects of the last month.  Remember how I said that I anticipated hitting a wall at some point?  Well, I haven't really.  You know how I love metaphors, so here's one to explain.  The last month has been a bit like walking through the mud.  It was sloppy and awkward, but I was getting everything done and moving forward.  I expected that once the funeral was over that I would fall completely into the mud for a short while.  That didn't really happen.  Instead, I'm just sloshing along and have to stop for a break now and then (hence, my 3 hour nap yesterday). 
All in all, I'm doing okay.  In fact, it hadn't even occurred to me until this weekend that I'm not on Paxil anymore.  The conversation...

Me: I was just wondering if you think I'm doing okay with all of this, considering I've been off my Paxil for 7 months.
Drew: Yeah, I think you are doing fine.  Do you feel in control? 
Me: I'm in control of pretty much nothing, but I don't feel crazy. 
Drew: Well...
Me: Okay, yeah, but it's not a "needs to be medicated crazy", it's just normal Mandy crazy... right? 
Drew:  (smile) yep

I'd say that the fact that we were talking openly about it and joking at the same time is a pretty good sign that I'm doing well. 

Speaking of Crazy... Tessa calls me Crazy Aunt Mandy.  When she was younger she called me Meany (maybe because I'm mean, but mostly because she couldn't say the "d").  Now that she's a mature 2 1/2 years old, she's a talking machine and it's quite clear that she's saying "Crazy Aunt Mandy".  I take it as a compliment.   Payson (16 months) doesn't call me anything, but I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy.   I'm totally cool being the crazy aunt.  Just ask Kayla and Braeden... the crazy aunt lets you eat as many mints & pieces of gum as you want and cheers too loud at your sporting events.  Or ask JR... the crazy aunt crawls into the fort and roars like a dinosaur.

Did I mention that Casey & Sasha are moving?  It's a huge bummer that we won't see them as often, but they are excited for their new adventure and I'm happy for them.  They will be moving to Southeast Kansas (near the Oklahoma panhandle) to a little town I don't remember the name of, about 8 or 9 hours from here.  They will be operating a grow yard (cattle) and have high hopes of new opportunity. 
Oh, wait, have I mentioned that Christmas Eve was Grandpa's 79th birthday.  Kyle & Misty, me & Drew and Uncle Matt were there, we had lunch and lit birthday candles.  I think you are never too old for numbered candles. 

We made plans to spend New Year's Eve with Kyle & Misty.  Misty texted to ask what we wanted to do.  My answer?  I was up for anything as long as it wasn't a dance party.  Her response?  "You are your brother."  Yeah, us McCarty kids aren't much for dancing.  As for being just like my brother?  I can't think of a better compliment.  We wound up staying in, Kyle grilled steaks and we had a delicious dinner.  We played games and laughed a lot.  Kayla & Braeden were out of town with their grandparents, so it was just grown ups.  Playing bean bag toss in the house is a grown up thing to do, right? 

Kyle & I are both known or wimping out before midnight rolls around, so I didn't know if we would stay to actually ring in the new year or not.  To my surprise, we played games and it was suddenly 11:15.  We were going to make it!  Then we made the poor decision to play dominoes.  Dominoes is a quiet game and we were all yawning and sleepy in a hurry.  We did make it to midnight, but didn't stick around to see 12:15.  Drew already had the truck running and warming up and Kyle announced that we could stay as long as we wanted but he was going to bed.  Yep, that's about as wild and crazy as we get. 

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