I'll also try to do better about updating more regularly.
Tomorrow morning I will attend the regular OB appointment with Birth Mom. She will be 24 weeks and 6 days pregnant tomorrow. That means we have 15 weeks and a day until Ellie's due date! I look forward to hearing her heart beat and getting a dose of baby. I need to be close to my baby, if just for a short while every few weeks.
I recently tried to explain to Drew how different this is for me, as compared to being pregnant with and expecting Alex & Emma. It's strange because I have a place in my heart that already belongs to Ellie and we are preparing our life and our home to welcome her, but I do not have the physical reminders of her in my life right now. I can't feel her move inside of me. My body isn't changing. I go weeks at a time without even being in the same room as this baby. Ellie has never heard the beat of my heart. There is a physical gap and that is so different than when we were expecting Alex & Emma. As I was trying to put these feelings into words and make sense of them, Drew listened quietly. I asked him if it felt different to him.
Drew: No, not really. It feels like we are expecting our daugther. It's not any different for me than it was with Alex & Emma.
Me: (taken aback by his sincerity and sweetness)
Drew: Wait, I take that back. It's totally different because you aren't crazy.
Laughter. Lots of laughter. He's completely correct. I was slightly (but totally) crazy under the influence of pregnancy hormones. Drew must be thinking that this is the best of both worlds... we are having a baby and he doesn't have to navigate the unpredictable landscape of pregnant Mandy!