"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Friday, August 28, 2015


Blah seems like a strange thing to be when I have this in my life... 
Even so, I'm feeling blah. I'm quite certain it's been instigated by the home study. On Tuesday evening the social worker had lots and lots of questions about Alex & Emma's disease and so we spent a lot of time talking about medical stuff, PKAN and the death of our children. That just plain old sucks. Sucks. We talk about and think of Alex and Emma every day in our home, but we talk about them as our girls and not as PKAN patients. I didn't like having to drudge through all of that again. I went to Siloam for my dear friend Heidi's baby shower on Wednesday afternoon and that was harder than I expected. It was at Friendship, where Alex & Emma received their therapy for so long. It didn't occur to me that that would be emotional, but fresh on the heels of the first home study visit, it was. Of course I'm glad that I went because I got to introduce Eleanor to many people who knew and loved Alex & Emma and because I love Heidi so much.  (It probably would have been a little less flustering for me if Eleanor could have refrained from pooping twice in the one hour that we were there!) Still, I'm a little blah. 
As we continue meeting the requirements of the home study process, Drew & I went for wellness visits at the doctor yesterday. Good news: we are healthy and the doctor happily wrote us each a note to that effect. Bad news: when the doctor asked if I had any concerns, I asked him about two small spots on my face. Much to my dismay, I was correct in thinking that they were age spots. They aren't dangerous, but I'm 35 and I have age spots caused not just by age but by the sun. Dear young ones, I know you love the sun. I do to. So very much. I don't have any intention of living under a shade for the rest of my life, but I surely would recommend sunscreen. Just do it. Wear the sunscreen.  
While I'm feeling a bit off my game, this girl is still wooing me and making me smile. Look at her all kicked back and relaxed in my lap. 
And really, these cheeks are just begging to be squished. Being the mom, I can squish them whenever I please. It's just one perk. 
And finally, to the elderly couple that stopped me in Walmart on Wednesday... Thank you.  They went on and on about how beautiful Eleanor was, how comfy & content she looked in the K'tan carrier (which is a life saver and most valuable accessory so far) and then the woman said, "she reminds me of an Anne Geddes baby, all wrapped up and looking like a flower." It may have been off the wall, but it made my day.  It made me so happy that I took a selfie on the sly while in Walmart. 

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