"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, December 31, 2016


This morning I woke to a phone call from the doctor at 7:45.  He said that Grandpa seemed to be doing worse instead of better and they had put him back on the high flow oxygen machine.  When I arrived at the hospital his eyes were open and he was talking some, but between the hum of the machines in the room and the high flow of oxygen from his nasal cannula, it was nearly impossible to hear or understand him.  There was frequent adjustment of his oxygen to try and keep his stats at an acceptable level.  Kyle, Matt, and I all agreed that we did not want to put him on a ventilator and I had already signed a DNR weeks ago.  Kyle & I talked to the doctor and asked about hospice and we all agreed that we would try one more round of Lasix and talk to the cardiologist one more time before making that move.  Respiratory was keeping a close eye on Grandpa, his stats were staying fairly level, and they ordered a BiPAP to have on hand, should the cannula not be enough.  I prayed with him and held his hand and just sat.  Knowing from experience that the end stages of life can take days, at 12:45 I decided I would come home for a little while to be with Eleanor and then come back later in the afternoon.  As always, the nurse knew to call me for anything.  When I got home I told Drew that while nobody but God could possibly know, I anticipated that he would move to hospice soon and only had a few days left.  We began making plans for how I could be with Grandpa as much as possible when Drew goes back to work on Monday.  Drew left to go to Fayetteville where he was meeting his family for the afternoon.  At 1:53pm my phone rang.  The nurse asked where I was and then said that she believed he was passing.  I hung up the phone and rushed back to the hospital.  I was there, Eleanor in tow, in less than 15 minutes.  I was too late. 
When I arrived the chaplain was already standing in the doorway to meet me.  Grandpa had passed peacefully.  His oxygen levels couldn't be maintained and his heart stopped.  It happened very quickly.  I sat with him for a while and held his hand for the last time.  I cried for myself because my life will be so different without him.  I thanked God for taking Grandpa home and then I cried a bit more over the joyous thought of the welcome party that surely greeted him heaven.  Then I cried because I had to call my loved ones and deliver the news.  I answered the coroner's medical history questions and waited for the funeral home to arrive.  Tomorrow afternoon we will make the funeral arrangements and I will post them here and on Facebook as soon as I have them. 


Courtney said...

Mandy, I'm so sorry to hear of this. Prayers of comfort to get you through the days ahead.

Pam said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, I'll be praying for peace and comfort for your family~

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Love and peace to you & your family.