"I should not talk so much about myself if there were any body else whom I knew as well."
-Henry David Thoreau

Monday, July 24, 2017

Forceful Love

On Saturday Drew & I went to Crystal Bridges with some friends from work.  The Chihuly (which I now know how to pronounce) exhibit was fantastic and 100% worth the ticket.  What's crazy is that I live here and this was my first visit to the museum.  I LOVED it and will definitely be going back.  The regular exhibits are free to visit and that's just crazy.  Awesome, awesome, awesome.  Go.  You won't regret it.  I'm including a lot of photos of the art.  They aren't great pictures and you should definitely go see them for yourselves, but I want to remember this date, so I'm sharing them here. 
Remember how I said I'd get him to take a serious picture with me someday?  This is what I got this time.  I'm not complaining.   He loves me. 

 The glass work was amazing.  I made so many awe struck noises that people probably wondered what was wrong with me.  Really, though, breathtaking stuff. 

 Y'all, we have famous paintings in our little corning of Arkansas.  It's awesome. 
 I mean, you could say that we went on a date and saw Hamilton.  You wouldn't be lying. 
 The outside Chihuly exhibit was sweltering hot, but absolutely beautiful.  This was gigantic and beautiful.  I need this replicated for the top of my Christmas tree.  How can I make this happen? 
 Just the architecture of the building is amazing.  
 Warhol.  Y'all, Andy Warhol. 
 The more modern the art got the less Drew "got" it.  I giggled at him so much.  This massive pencil and paper drawing was impressive, but pretty bizarre.  Drew's response: "That parrot has boobs." 
 Rosie the Riveter
 Jackson Pollock.  Bizarre, but so cool.  Also, it's really small. 
 Warhol self portrait. 

 Heading out, but my new shoes are super cute and they don't hurt my feet, so... winning. 
 The friends we went with took some photos of us which I love because I'm only ever in photos if I'm taking them. 

I'm so inspired that I keep joking Drew that the next time he leaves for work that he may come home to our walls covered in Mandy originals.  The biggest things I think I learned is that it's all so objective.  I mean, I agree that some of it is just weird.  Who decided it was art?  The artist?  In that case, maybe it's okay for me to do my artistic painting thing and be happy with what I create... even if it isn't anything special to anyone else.  Look out, I'm pulling out my paints.  
 Saturday night we went to the Emis' for a reunion of families that Drew grew up with.  I loved it because I hope that someday when Eleanor is grown, we will still make time to get together with the families that we are doing life with right now.  All the kids are grown and have children of their own and it was just a big, loud, chaotic, mess of a get together that was perfect. I really don't like to be that annoying person that makes people stop and take photos if they don't want to, but I took my camera along just in case.  I don't think everyone has been together in 15+ years and it was great to document.  There are even a few new friends mixed in.

Eleanor acted like a turd the entire evening, losing her cool over anything and everything.  The ONLY thing that made her happy was the cats.  Ms. Emis refers to their place as The Cat Ranch and she's not lying.  There was an abundance of cats and Eleanor was in love.  Repeat after me: Eleanor cannot have a cat.  Eleanor cannot have a cat.  Can't happen.  But, dude, she really loves cats.  Birth mom loved cats, so maybe she gets it from her.  This kitten was overly tolerant of Eleanor's love. 

 The way Eleanor loves kittens is reminescent of how Emma loved Mac when he was a puppy.  It's some forceful love.  Oh, my girls love their fur babies.  See that ball of fur by her face?  That's Mac's head.  Oh, she loved Mac.  (Picture from 2008)
Speaking of Emma (and Alex)... Drew and I went to a funeral this afternoon.  Dottie came to stay with Eleanor while she napped and Drew and I went to our old beloved church in Elm Springs to remember the life of Ms. Mildred.  She was such a lovely woman who we've known for years and wanted to be there to honor her.  I wasn't looking forward to it, but I was fine.  We got there and I was fine.  The service started and I was still pretty much fine.  We weren't 10 minutes into the service, surrounded by friends who we have loved for more than a decade, and I suddenly realized that I couldn't remember what color the girls' caskets were.  I couldn't, still can't, picture them in my head.  I couldn't remember the color of their flowers or the details of their services and it freaked me out.  Then the piano started to play the intro for "It Is Well".  I knew immediately that I needed to leave.  I gave Drew a look and he got me out of there quietly and quickly.  Thank God. We barely made it out of the building before I couldn't breathe.  I was having chest pains and I couldn't breathe.  You guys, I used to deal with general anxiety on a pretty much constant basis and I've had anxiety attacks that were severe enough to be ingrained in my memory, but that was years ago.  I don't really struggle with anxiety anymore and I haven't had a panic attack in a very long time, but I had a full on monster of a panic attack in the parking lot of our old church today.  Bless Drew's heart for knowing how to help me focus and breathe through such an episode.  It didn't last more than 5 minutes, but it was intense and awful.  My chest still aches and I'm guessing I'll just have a bit of a anxiety attack hang over this evening.  Emotional triggers can be powerful things. I'm sorry that I couldn't sit through the entire service for Ms. Mildred, but she was a tough gal and I'm pretty sure she'd understand.